Lilo & Stitch's Star Trek v1
Lilo & Stitch Go To Japan version 1
Chapter 6: Magic and Mystery

“Oooo…”

“What is it this time?” breathed 419.

“Another magic box!”

“Congratulations, you’ve found the fridge.”

Pleakly stared at her with a look of disbelieving defiance.

“But… I ate all the raviolis last night… and they re-appeared!”

“OK, I’m not even going to bother… Jumba?”

Jumba took his head out of a box of a box of jumbo-sized mini-corndogs.

“What?”

“Can you please tell Pleakly that this is not, as he claims, a magic box!”

“Of cause it is not being.”

419 sighed.

“Thank you…”

“It is being food materialiser!”

“What?”

“We have those on ship! They are creating food out of proton molecules… er, 419… why are you banging head against wall?”

 

“Oh my GOODNESS!”

“It’s terrible!”

“It’s horrible!”

“It’s…”

“OK, yo, I get it!”

426 slowly stumbled out of Jumba’s room.

“What happened…”

“Well, thanks to my older sister, I got the bottom bunk…”

“And what’s wrong with that?” asked Lilo. “I got the bottom bunk in my room…”

“Y’all don’t understand… Jumba was in the middle.”

“Ouch…”

“Ooo…”

“That gotta hurt!”

“So… is there any particular reason you’re all standing around?”

Everyone turned his or her head. 419 was walking down the hall, head down, PDA in hand.

“By the way, Jumba, I found your handheld…”

She looked up and met with the stares of most of her extended family (excepting Jumba, who was at this moment getting more mini-corndogs.)

“Er… OK… where’s Jumba…”

A small gleam appeared in Stitch’s eye. 419 didn’t like the look of it, nor the look 426 was giving her at the moment.

“Um… I’ll just… go now…”

She quickly slipped into the kitchen and double-locked the door.

 

“Hey, 419... why are you in so much rushing?”

“Can’t talk... must run... er, Jumba, you don’t want to open that door...”

“Why not?”

“Well...”

Jumba opened the door.

And through rushed 626, followed closely by Pleakly (trying to catch 626), 426 (trying to catch 419), Lilo (trying to catch Stitch and a ‘northern banshee’, whatever that was), and Nani (trying to catch Lilo).

“Um... that’s why.”

“Get her!” shouted 426.

“Get him!” yelled Lilo.

“Get back here right this instant!” exclaimed Nani.

“Get out of my kitchen!” cried... some guy dressed in white.

“Who are you?”

 

The chief chef had arrived on the scene to see his kitchen – his beautiful, marvellous, spotless kitchen - being ravaged and ransacked by three dogs, a young girl, a teenager, a hat stand, and a hippo.

“I am the head chef of this hotel. Out! Now!”

 

“And next time you want a snack, wait for lunch!”

The chef slammed the door behind him and wiped his brow. Sure, it was bad enough when those ‘ducks’ ate all the ice-cream last week, but now what was he to say? That aliens ate all the jumbo mini-corndogs? Or maybe he was finally losing it. Where did he put that resignation form?

 

Meanwhile, about 2 km away, in an ordinary suburban house, an alarm clock rang. And a hand blindly grouped for the ‘snooze’ button.

Now, most hands are attached to arms, arms to shoulders, shoulders to people, unless said hand, arm, shoulder or person was somehow detached in a painful but no doubt humorous manner. This particular hand, however, was attached to an arm, a shoulder, and a person, and this person was named Sakura.

“Just five more minutes...”

“Rise and shine, sleepyhead,” called a voice from the corridor. Sakura instinctively ducked as two pillows came flying her way.

“C’mon, squirt, up and at’em… It’s only about 8:13...”

“8:13!” The large mess that was her bedding fell in a heap on the floor, as Sakura leaped (or rather, stumbled) out of bed, tripped over her laundry basket and fell at her oniisan’s feet. Only now did she think to check the clock. It read 7:47.

“Tori!”

“Well, it got you up, didn’t it? Early to bed, early to rise...”

Sakura groaned.


Author's Comment

Name that chapter title! Today's chapter title comes from a lyric from the song "Guardian of the Cards", from the Cardcaptors soundtrack. Here's an AMV of the song (which I think also gives a good overview of the series.)

“Another magic box!” ... Okay, I'm not going to even bother explaining this one. Jumba?

Jumba?

"Oh, very well. As you are knowing from Writer Person's previous writings, he initially is pegging One-Eyed Noodle as very stupid, much stupider than even Pleakley is. (Not that I can't be seing how one can be making the connecti-OW! Why are you elbowing m- oh, right, focus.)

Whell, in this chapter he wanted to make comparison between Pleakley's silly behaviour and my intelligence so he could be showing how without contextual knowledge even Jumba's smarts are nothing. (Although to be fair, is silly to blame me for such a thing, since- OW! Okay, I am getting it!) He also is wanting to do callback to the episode Yapper from telebox series, where whole... family... visits... Honolulu...

Wait a minite..."

Heh... heh... okay then! While Jumba ponders what on Earth that could mean (I certainly don't know!), here's some more trivia!

“Oh my GOODNESS!” Even when I posted this, I remember looking at it and thinking how really ambiguous this scene is (although at the time I couldn't think of how to rewrite it so it isn't.) So I don't blame you if you haven't the foggiest as to what they're reacting to. Basically, 419 called 'bags' on the top bunk, Jumba decided to go on the second, leaving 426 at the bottom. And due to Jumba's mattress sagging through the top and practically squashing 426, he looks absolutely terrible (mainly due to his fur being all messed up.)

With that in mind, the reason 426 chases after 419 should be obvious. Stitch sympathises with 426 and decides to help him, and Lilo, Nani and Pleakley want to prevent 426 and Stitch from being too distructive.

Speaking of which...

The chase scene: Sure, it's kind of funny, and it's a classic animated trope (cue Yakety Sax!) but it's also rather out of character for, well, the characters, methinks, and it's also rather silly, so I'm probably going to leave the scene out of version 2.

On ducks who like ice-cream: Another thing that's not really clear at all in this chapter is exactly what the chef was referring to when he was talking about ducks stealing ice-cream. I was making fun of the idea of anthromorphic animals that live in the 'real world' along side 'real animals' and/or 'real people'; specifically, Scrooge McDuck and his nephews (who live in a city called Duckburg which seems to be populated mainly by dog-people...)

In this case, the chef (who you can imagine to be one of those dog-people, if you like) thought he saw Huey, Duey and Louie stealing ice-cream from him, and then Scrooge telling them off and getting them to apologise. (Whether or not that actually happened or is a figment of the chef's imagination is up to the reader, though it ultimately doesn't matter because this never happened anyway.)

A challenger approaches! This is the official introduction of Sakura Avalon in this fic (the previous scene in Chapter 3 was basically like those scenes in Japanese RPGs where the character's name is listed as "???".) It's one of the few scenes I really liked in the early chapters, because it introduces part of the personality of Sakura, as well as showing her interaction with her brother. (It also might have something to do with the little bit of Lemony Narrating. :D) The fact that the scene shows these things is especially relevent for those who haven't seen Cardcaptors, which would most likely be most of the Lilo & Stitch fanbase.

Nowadays I try to write my fics so that even people who have never seen or read the media in question don't have to have to enjoy the fic - all the basic knowledge is summerised at some point or another. This might make it annoying for those who have already seen it ('get on with it already!') but I think it's a more thorough and inclusive approach, and is also good practice for if I ever decide to go into original fiction.

More on critique: Xoverguy's review in this chapter is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about in Chapter 4's commentary - critique that isn't harsh, but helpful.

Unfortunately, it also represents the other problem I talked about - I couldn't see at the time what he was on about. Now, looking back, I can kind of see what he's talking about now.

Although I think the main problem wasn't the events per say, but the fact they occured one-per-chapter, when in a normal story several such events would probably fit in a chapter each, and thus there'd be a greater cadence between plot points. Basically, I'd think, "okay, that's one or two events, I'm done for this chapter!" and submit (which is a terrible way to split your chapters, by the way.)

The other thing is that I had a tendancy to switch between POVs several times per chapter, which means the action gets split up into lots of small chunks, and thus the reader doesn't get time to focus on one event before they get pulled into another. In Starlight version 3 and A Trip To Japan version 2 I'm going to reorganise chapter events so POV switches will be less common, and when they do happen, we'll stick with the character for longer.

--MarkKB

Original author's comment:

Another day, another chapter... review away...

--MarkKB

Original comments

x636 on 25 February 2006 @ 5:18 a.m.:

Very nice and still very funny.

Kioko the pirate on 25 February 2005 @ 9:39 a.m.:

Still very good. Update soon.

HeMeleNoLiloLover on 19 October 2005 @ 2:59 p.m.:

XD Continue.

Xoverguy on 1 December 2005 @ 12:07 p.m.:

I'm trying my best, but I'm not getting the point so far. There are so many minor events that I am failing to see the big picture. I have the same problem with "Lilo and Stitch Star Trek". A suggestion would be to be more to the point on the plotline. Nevertheless, I am still interested and hope you update soon.

Copyright © 2013 Mark Kéy-Balchin.